It happens to all parents. That one Christmas where you just go overboard. Nutty really.

And you try to make this Christmas the “special” one for your children and buy them too many presents by anyone’s standard of decency. Our worst was about 20 years ago (could it be that long?).

Using careful calculations of budget, reasonable number of presents to be opened by each child and “holiday magic” bang, we had made our purchases for our son, who was less than a year old, and our daughter who was just 3 and still mastering toilet learning. We had our vision of Christmas morning looking like Norman Rockwell painting until each of us independently went bonkers with the credit cards and bought “just a few” more things for the kids. (Please read “truck load.”)

The result was a Christmas morning of over-stimulation and tears. It was a morning where the 3-year-old tried on all her new outfits at once and then couldn’t get to the bathroom on time and wailed piteously. It was a morning where the baby really didn’t care what was in the packages or even about the paper. He just made a bee line for the tree and all the sparklies on it as he had all during Advent. What a disaster. And the grandparents hadn’t even come over yet with their over-purchases!

As parents, we are our children’s best and most important teachers. If we want our children to grow up to be responsible, compassionate, caring adults, we must set the example — especially at Christmas. And if we are practicing Christians, the imperative of setting that example within the context of our religious beliefs becomes even more important.

No Wasted Gifts — On Christmas morning, we usually want to see a little of the magic where kids open presents and are delighted by the contents. First, those “opening” gifts should be limited in number. Set a number — and then cut it down again — and stick to it. Secondly, make sure that those precious few material gifts are things that your children will really use, cherish and don’t cost you an arm and a leg. When our daughter got older, she used the tactic of focusing on one gift she really wanted and bombarding us with messages (in writing, in email, picture on the fridge and verbally). It worked. We would get her that gift and then just a couple of other items (usually socks and mittens), and she was delighted. “This is the best Christmas ever, Mom.”

Lead by Example — Show your children by your example that Christmas is not about the material goods.