In our society, no one teaches women how to be mothers. There’s no college course. No Mommy 101. To top it off, many women live too far from their own mothers to rely on them for daily help.

I was one of the fortunate ones who entered motherhood with experience. I grew up on a small farm, where I had several cats. I watched them give birth to kittens, lick them clean, and nurse them to adulthood. By the time my son turned 2 years old, he knew how to use the litter box and catch mice.

When deciding whether to have my first child, I glorified motherhood. I longingly gazed at cuddly babies who were sleeping in adorable pink and blue strollers, never noticing that the women behind the baby carriages could barely force their weary, sleep-deprived bodies to push the strollers.

When deciding to have a second baby, I was more realistic. I considered all facets of motherhood: The long nights of sleeplessness and the unending loads of laundry, but also the heart-melting hugs from my charming toddler and the indescribable love I feel for him.

My husband wanted another child immediately. In my heart, I always knew I wanted a second child, but I debated the timing. I worried how a sibling would affect my son. To be honest, I still worry how he’ll cope with sharing my attention. Yet, I’m thrilled to be pregnant with my second child. This baby is its own individual. He or she is going to add a new dimension to our family, and I can’t wait to meet him or her.

If I’ve learned anything from the e-mails I get from moms who read my columns, it’s that you experience many of the same feelings I do. So, this column is for moms who are debating when or if they should have a second child.

I hope the following list of things I considered will give you some thoughts to ponder.

- Spacing between children — I worried about this the most. Under 18 months and I’d be buried in diapers. Every mom I knew who had children 2 1/2 years apart said it was awful because the older sibling couldn’t understand that she couldn’t devote full attention to them. Over 3 years and I worried they wouldn’t have a close relationship. Turns out, my children will be 2 1/2 years apart. I’ve come to realize their relationship depends more on their individual personalities and our emphasis on healthy family relationships than on spacing.

- Potty training — I desperately wanted my son to be potty trained by the time the baby was born. When I announced this to the pediatrician, she laughed in my face and told me to forget it. He’ll use the potty when he’s ready, she said. Her advice was liberating because I didn’t feel pressure to potty train him. I’ve come to realize the world won’t end if I have two children in diapers.

- Everybody’s sleeping — For the most part, things are operating smoothly in my family. Everyone sleeps through the night. My son feeds himself. He zips his own coat and puts on his hat. Am I ready to disrupt this harmony with a helpless baby who wakes me every three hours, dirties six to 10 diapers a day and cries when the car stops? Only you can decide if you’re ready to re-enter babyland, but remember that the newborn stage goes so quickly that when it’s over, you might even miss it.

- Sibling relationship — Will my son feel jealous of the baby? Unfortunately, the answer to this question is probably yes, but I am putting the emphasis on him (rather than the baby) by touting his new “big brother” status. And I am remembering that a sibling is the only person in the world who will understand his roots. Without a sibling, who will he complain to about his crazy mom?

- Practical issues — Do we have enough room in our house for another baby? Can we afford another college education? How will I get my son out of his crib without making him feel displaced by his younger sibling? How will I fit groceries in my shopping cart with two kids riding in it? I don’t know all the answers. I am planning to let the kids share a room. I am investing in a 529 savings plan for college. I bought a bed for my son months before the baby comes, so he gets used to sleeping out of the crib. I still don’t know how grocery shopping works.

There are many other considerations, but this quote calmed my anxieties and put it in perspective for me: “Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one’s youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.” Psalm 127:3-5

A St. Clairsville native, Shasta Clark is a freelance writer who lives in Chagrin Falls, Ohio, with her husband and son.