When I was pregnant with my first child, any time I had a concern or a question, the most common response I heard was, “That’s normal.”

That meant there was no need to be alarmed if my ankles and feet swelled so much that the only shoes that fit were flip-flops. Good thing my last trimester occurred in the spring!

The normalcy of pregnancy continued until my perfectly beautiful baby boy was born and placed in my arms. Family, friends and co-workers warned me, “You can never imagine how much you will love that baby!” I must admit, they were right. But, don’t worry, that’s normal.

After Elliot entered the world, the attention shifted away from me and onto him. He wants to nurse every hour? Don’t worry, that’s normal. He’s awake from 1-4 a.m. every night? Don’t worry, that’s normal. He has a bowel movement on the changing table after you just removed a poopy diaper? Don’t worry, that’s normal.

One of the biggest lessons I have learned from being a pregnant woman and first-time mother is “normal” does not mean easy! In fact, I got so tired of hearing that word.

The biggest frustration came when the attention reverted back to me. I must agree with Vicki Iovine when she writes in her book, “The Girlfriends’ Guide to Surviving the First Year of Motherhood,” that the baby blues can strike at any time, no matter how old your baby is.

About two days after Elliot was born, I started crying for reasons I could not explain. One nurse even said to me, “I’m surprised this didn’t start sooner.” I was overwhelmed with emotion. He was so beautiful, and I could not believe he was mine.

Prior to labor and delivery, I touted my all-natural methods, believing with fervor that I would course through the process with little trouble. My plans were curtailed when my nurse-midwife went out of town two days before I learned I had to be induced because of low amniotic fluid level. Not that there is anything wrong with having an obstetrician-attended delivery (that’s “normal” after all!); it was simply not what I had planned!

After receiving a cervical ripening medicine, labor started on its own. My contractions came so hard and fast, I honestly did not know how I was going to live to deliver a baby! So much for staying relaxed and breathing, per the Bradley method I had studied. I consented to an epidural, but I dilated so quickly that I was ready to push by the time the anesthesiologist arrived at 4 a.m. I ended up with the drug-free labor for which I had hoped, but I was disappointed with myself for not handling the pain as well as I thought I would. This was another reason I was so sad — I mourned that the curtain had fallen on my pregnancy show, and I felt as though I had forgotten my lines.

It was about 10 days after Elliot’s arrival that I began to feel more like myself. The sadness lifted, and I could eat chocolate again (I had read that chocolate can worsen depression, so I wasn’t taking any chances!). But, any time I had a sad moment, I would hear, “That’s normal. It’s just hormones.”

That was it. Enough already! I know it’s normal. I know 80 percent of women experience the baby blues. That does not make it any easier for me. Thankfully, my family and friends, some of whom went through the same tough time, were extremely supportive.

Now, similar to Iovine’s experiences, I find myself crying because my baby boy does things for the first time while I’m at work. Or, because he lays his head on my shoulder every Thursday morning before I have to go to work.

Thursday is the hardest day to report to the office. It’s as if my body and my heart can handle working three days per week. Thursday comes with the realization that I am a full-time working mother, and I have to make it through two more days before I can call it the weekend.

Yes, the baby blues are normal. I know that does not make it any easier, but rest assured — the sadness passes within two weeks for most moms. If it does not cease, however, talk to your health care provider. Postpartum depression is serious and needs to be treated. Even nursing mothers can safely take medication.

For more information, visit the women’s health section of U.S. Department of Health and Human Services’ Web site at www.4woman.gov/faq/postpartum.htm#5.

April Henry is a freelance writer who lives with her husband, Mike, and son, Elliot, in Martins Ferry.