Let me say up front that I only watched the first half of the game. I also was not paying real close attention. Rather, I was eating dinner and chatting with my friend while our kids played together.

But I did catch a few ads that had me wondering what marketing execs must think of the average Super Bowl-watching American.

If you were visiting America from a foreign country, here's the picture you might draw in your mind based on just the ads for Budweiser, Bud Light and Doritos:

Americans would fake their own deaths so they could be buried with tasty snack food.

Americans are cruel and vindictive to the animals who are supposed to be their best friends.

They raise their children to place snack food up there with their mothers as worth defending.

Americans would rather drink beer and fornicate than get rescued in an emergency.

They would drop everything and risk their lives so they could drink beer.

What motivates Americans? Beer. And snack food.

No, the commercials didn't actually say these things. But aren't they supposed to be appealing and humorous to the majority of Americans watching the game?

And gee, does anyone think perhaps Anheuser-Busch's Belgian owners might have something to do with this new low in marketing ploys? Does it give us pause that these European execs are making fun of their biggest customers?

Yes, I have a sense of humor. Really, I do! And yes, I even like to drink beer and eat snack food on occasion! But these commercials were tacky if not downright degrading.

That's only a smattering of the ads that were shown, I know. I was glad to hear the Budweiser Clydesdale ad was "awwww"-inspiring. The TruTV commercial featuring the miniature Troy Polamalu was memorable and amusing if for no other reason than my almost 4-year-old daughter said, "Look, it's a baby Steeler!"

I missed the Tebows, Toyota's apology and talking babies, as well as dozens of other ads. But I don't think I missed much. Especially if the first half was any indication.