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Breakng the Rules
April 23, 2012 - Stacey Sacco
I blogged previously about our trouble coming to a compromise on a name for our little girl. I had a list of names I liked and so did my husband, but we didn’t like each other’s names. This was still the case on the day she was born.
By then, there was one name that we were both leaning toward and thought might make both of us happy, however we took one look at her and both said, “that’s not her name!” Back to square one.
So we spent the next 48 hours debating and arguing with each other and staring at a baby girl, hoping to find the right name to be hers for the rest of her life. Yes, our hospital stay was 48 hours and the only hold-up in our discharge was the fact that we had yet to complete the birth certificate. Nothing like waiting until the last minute, right?
We followed a formula in naming both the boys. They both have a strong Biblical first name that isn’t over-used. For middle names we used family names. Since we had been successful with this method twice before, we attempted to apply it again.
However, we couldn’t find a first or middle name this way. Every female Biblical name we found was either common or weird. We went back generations in our family trees looking for names we loved and still came up empty-handed. We found lots of Marys and Sarahs but nothing we wanted to use.
So, back to the “I like this name” method. Except, we didn’t like the same names. My favorite name was also the name of a woman that my husband has to deal with regularly at work who is very unpleasant. His favorite name I just didn’t care for or think fit her.
We actually agreed on a middle name first. The very first name I suggested after discovering we were having a girl, my husband didn’t like as a first name, but thought it made a beautiful middle name. I agreed, as long as the first name we chose sounded good with it.
We got to the point where we were just throwing out names to see how they sounded by the time she was a day and a half old. When Ron suggested Elise, I remember admiring the name Anelise two years earlier, before we knew if Justus was a boy or a girl. Plus, my grandmother's middle name was Ann, so it did bring with it a bit of a family name. It was the first time we wrote an agreed name on the “maybe” list.
As it turns out, 12 hours later, it was still the solo name on that list. After a brief discussion concerning the spelling while the nurses waited patiently to complete her birth certificate, we made a final decision.
I think we were both unsure about it at the time. To be honest, for days afterwards, I would look at her and momentarily draw a blank. I could think of all the names we considered, but Anelise did not roll off my tongue naturally. Of course, that made me panic that we chose the wrong name. What if it never fits her?
But it does. Gradually, we all adapted to her as Anelise. Although the boys still regularly call her Sis, it is the name she is supposed to have. I feel confident that there is a reason it was the only choice. We obviously couldn’t be trusted to decide between several. It’s a beautiful name- just like my girl.
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