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Four Ways to Show You Love Them

By Jennifer Gregory

POSTED: February 2, 2010

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If you travel for work or are your child spends time at their other parent's house, leave notes for your child to find while you are gone. Bonnie McFarland mails cards to her girls at their father's house so that they will receive them over the weekend and know that they are on her mind.

When you give your kids candy or a card on Valentine's Day, take a moment to think about new ways you can show your children you love them throughout the year. While you should also tell your child you love him, it is important that your actions also show your child you love him.

"If the child feels loved and valued, they can go out and conquer the world. It gives them the emotional muscle to succeed out in the world," said Dr. Glen Earl, child psychologist.

Spend One-on-One Time With Each Child

If you have multiple children, try to spend time on a regular basis alone with each child.

Many parents find that setting up a regular date with the child ensures that the time doesn't get lost in the hustle of daily life. "Children don't remember things that you buy them but really remember you got up every Saturday and made pancakes with just them," Earl said.

Knowing they are special enough for you to schedule time and spend it with them helps your children know they are loved and important to you. During your special time, be sure to focus on the child and avoid distractions such as e-mail and cell phones. The activity doesn't have to be elaborate, and oftentimes simple activities are the most memorable. You can read books together, go out for ice cream or walk the dog together. The activity should be something that both you and the child enjoy.

Since Amy Massengill's daughters were babies, her husband has been taking each girl out for "dates" each month. The girls look forward to the time with their Daddy each month. As your child grows, be sure to make sure that your time together evolves with your relationship and with your child's interest.

Have Regular Family Time

In addition to getting to spend time alone with each parent, spending time as a family tells children that the parents value the family as a whole. Being a part of a strong family helps children feel loved and provides them with a strong identity.

"Pick the best time of week for your family and stick to it. Send the message to your children that this is our time and nothing gets in the way of it," Earl said. "The best family times are significant and meaningful events that your family does throughout the year." You can create a tradition of family time by spending Sunday afternoon or Friday evening together. Regular family dinners are also an important way to spend time together.

JulieAnn Freezor's family enjoys having movie night where everyone piles on the couch with a blanket. Her family always feasts on popcorn and passes the bowl around while watching a movie they picked out together.

Pick an activity that everyone enjoys, such as playing games, going camping or going for a hike. Some families enjoy doing the same activity each time while others like to take turns selecting the activity.

Document Their Stories

Another way you can show your child that you love her is by documenting the story of her childhood. This shows your child that he is important enough for you to record his life for him. Be sure that the time that you devote to doing this doesn't take away from actually spending time with your child.

Some parents create scrapbooks of photographs of their child and include journaling about the events. You can also create a digital slideshow online of the photographs to save for your child.

Another way to document your child's stories is to keep a journal for your child. Some parents find that writing a letter to their child on their birthday is an easy way to create keepsakes and document their child's year.

Surprise Your Child

As you go through your day, keep on the lookout for little ways that you can show your child that you are thinking of her. Lisa Chappell likes to write notes in her daughter's lunchbox and occasionally sneak in a special treat. Little things such as checking out a book from the library that she will enjoy, picking up her favorite snack at the store or fixing her a special breakfast lets your child know that she was in your thoughts.

One of the important things to remember when thinking about showing your child that you love them is to remember that different children hear love differently and what one kid interprets as love is different than others. Earl said: "Find out what your child believes is a demonstration of love. Each child is individual, different and unique."

- Jennifer Gregory is a freelance writer and a mom of two kids. She likes to write "I Love You" on the peel of bananas that she packs in her kids' lunch. She wrote "Teachable Moments: Make the Winter Break Fun and Educational" in the December issue of OV Parent.

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