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» Betsy Brown Braun's "Just Tell Me What to Say" Web site

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Parents are waiting too long before having "the talk" with their children, according to a study published in the January edition of Pediatrics, journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics.

In a series of surveys with 141 parents and their teen children, "Researchers found more than 40 percent of children had sexual intercourse before any discussion with their parents about sexually transmitted disease symptoms, condom use, choosing birth control or what to do if a partner refuses a condom," aeccording to Healthy Children.org, a parenting Web site launched by the American Academy of Pediatrics.

One parenting expert reveals how to set the stage for youngsters so that by age 6, they are well informed.

"Sex education begins at birth," writes Betsy Braun Brown in the "How Did the Baby Get in Your Tummy" chapter of her 2008 book "Just Tell Me What to Say." For example, when an infant cries and is gently rocked until calming down, "the lesson she learns is that the people who love you take care of you and respond to your needs."

At the next stage, Brown said toddlers should be taught the proper names for all body parts without "cutifying" them, so they are able to properly and comfortably communicate about them.

Preschoolers can be taught about the importance of touching their private parts only when in a private place, such as a bathroom or bedroom. At about age 4, parents should ensure their private parts are covered up in front of a child of the opposite sex.

This is the age to teach ownership of his or her body. A parental script in the book reads: "You are the boss of your body. ... You are the boss of who touches your body and what your body does." Jan Wagner's Yello Dyno kids' safety CD has a great song on the subject called "My Body's Mine, Mine, Mine!" (www.yellodyno.com).

When it comes to the birds and the bees, Brown believes in honest, accurate answers. When your child asks where babies come from, tell her using actual terms such as sperm, ovum and uterus. If they ask for more details, depending on his or her maturity level, you can tell them about the act of sex, and that it is something grown-ups do to show they love each other, Brown said.

By age 6, if your child hasn't asked about sex, bring it up, she said. Say, "You've never asked me where babies come from. Do you ever wonder about that?" Tell the child you are the one who can answer her questions. If there's no response, give it time and the child likely will ask, or you can bring it up again later. Brown also recommends the book, "How Babies Are Made" by Stephen Schepp and Andrew Andry.

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