It's been a summer of firsts.
The first time a girl tried to kiss my son and the first time I said, "Don't spit into electrical outlets."
I don't have a daughter, but it's easy to observe that girls and boys play in completely different ways. My sons like anything that gets dirty, drives fast and slithers on its belly. Girls, as I found out, like to pretend they are princesses. And every princess needs a prince.
We were having a playdate with a 4-year-old girl. When it was time for her to go home, she insisted that all the parents watch the play she and my son had been working on.
As she pretended to take a bite from a poisonous apple, I got a little nervous because, throughout history, anytime a woman bit an apple, it didn't end well. Take Snow White, or Eve, for example.
But I sat back and watched the fall of humanity unfold.
The little actress keeled over with eyes closed.
When my son didn't act quickly enough, she opened one eye and demanded, "Now Harrison! It's your turn. Come do it!"
Harrison sheepishly looked at her, then me, then my husband.
He bolted out of the room yelling, "No way! That's for girls. I'm not doing it."
Later that night, he told my husband, "She wanted me to do this tongue thing. Gross!"
Phew! He thinks girls are gross and worms are fascinating. I hope it stays that way for a long time!
The Near Electrocution
As any mom can attest, it's nearly impossible to put on makeup with young children around. So I let my sons do things I never thought I would, just so I can apply moisturizer and mascara.
For instance, one day my sons found my tampons and decided they'd make good rockets.
So there I stood in front of the mirror, brushing my teeth while tampons launched from one end of the bathroom to the other, coming dangerously close to my head.
A few days later I was attempting to put on deodorant, when my 2-year-old son climbed on the toilet and started spitting into the electrical outlet.
"Stop!" I said. "Don't spit into electrical outlets! What have I told you about playing with electrical outlets?" Suddenly, the tampon launchers didn't seem so dangerous.